The Forest

A Schnauzer and a Jack-Russell Terrier met by the gorse bushes at the entrance to a grazing meadow where the lane meets a track. The Jack-Russell Terrier was, at first, reluctant to engage with the Schnauzer but in due course they were heard to hold the following conversation: 

‘I do not believe we have met before,’ said the Schnauzer. 

‘I would say we haven’t. No. Don’t recognise you.’

‘I have the distinct impression that you have lived in this part of the country for a long time – maybe even the longest time.’

‘What makes you say that, then?’

‘You have a way about you. And noses have a way of knowing.’

‘That’s true enough.’

‘And yet you seem a little distracted.’

The Jack-Russell Terrier examined his interlocutor with a look of momentary suspicion. 

‘Strange things are happening.’

‘Are they?’

‘Strange things.’

‘What things?’

‘First, there was a goat.’

‘I see.’

‘Then we heard about some sort of orange flower cake.’

‘Is that even possible?’

‘Pastiera. A mate of mine tasted it. He said it is flavoured with orange flower water.’

‘How did this occur?’

‘You might well ask. It was new to him – he comes from Hull.’

‘They don’t have such things there?’

‘They didn’t have them here – until recently. Who knows what goes on in East Yorkshire these days.’

‘Anything is possible, I suppose.’

‘You are right.’

The Jack-Russell Terrier seemed to lose his focus. 

‘Are you all right?’

‘Hm? Oh yes. Things aren’t the same. These days my mind wanders.’

‘I see.’

‘Orange flower water.’

The authorities have since placed a ban on the import of all luxury sweet items, due to the adverse effect news of the pastiera has had on the eating habits of pets and livestock throughout the region.